He wants divorce why is he angry

This is the best way to break up, and will lead to the best result. I give you everything you need to further prepare yourself before letting your spouse know you want to break up, in my book Make Any Divorce Better.

Ed Sherman is a family law attorney, divorce expert, and founder of Nolo Press. He started the self-help law movement in when he published the first edition of How to Do Your Own Divorce, and founded the paralegal industry in With more than a million books sold, Ed has saved the public billions of dollars in legal fees while making divorce go more smoothly and easily for millions of readers.

You can order his books from www. My wife just handed me divorce papers, refusing any discussion, telling me not to speak to her, only her lawyer. And I was left with two confused kids, angry at her. Although I suggested that both call her, after 2 months, my son still has yet to speak to her. And now she has two kids who feel abandoned they are still kids when in their late teens, despite the law. Aim for a discussion, rather than a mad dash have the papers delivered later , or the price you pay will last a lifetime.

Thanks for sharing that, Arnold. Hopefully it will help others who may be tempted to do what your wife did, to reconsider.

You make a good point at the end of your post. I concur.. I agree! Who wants to waste one moment more than nessesary with someone they can no longer trust or like?

I truly hope her children understand that she tolerated an unhappy situation for years? I hope you and your children have adjusted, and that your ex found the happiness she was so desperately seeking. This eBook is available here. Listen man.

There must have been something in the wind you could have seen. Own up to it!! Move on… shit happens. My wife and I have been in a sexless marriage for 35 yrs. She moved out to be with her mother. I found out that the only reason she married me, was as a sperm donor!

Both of her brothers are not, as they say, are normal! She wanted to give her parents a normal grandson. That turned out to be disastrous! Definitely agree here. Teenage children need to get over it.

Their mother obviously waited until they were adults because she cares. As of now, their mother needs their comfort just as she has been giving them for almost two decades.

Respectfully, you have no idea what the wife was or was not saying or doing. You also do not know what kind of mother she was or was not. To assume that she stuck in the marriage to raise the children out of love for them is extremely naive. I know nothing but this side of the equation and there are two sides to every story, but to assume the wife was conveying her troubles to her husband without actually knowing that is ignorant.

It is your fault! Take some responsibility. No one wakes up and leaves because you have been an amazing faultless spouse. You made her be done. Oh stop playing the victim. Thank you Arnold Z. No violence or cheating but still painful process to accept what has to change. I have a young 5 year old and hes the most important person in my life, and I want things to be as painless and quick as possible.

Omg I cant believe the completely insensitive comments on here to this man. You have NO idea what has been going on in his marriage. My wife has been falsely accusing me of everything from cheating to incest…. She is the most insensitive and jealous person I have ever seen in my life. I saw that before we married and was dumb enough to believe shed get better if I married her. If I tip a hotel maid shes jealous that I gave a small amount of money to someone besides her.

She literally told me she wanted that 10 bucks I gave to the hotel maid. So I give her 10 bucks as well and then she says she wants the 10 I gave to the hotel maid too. I have spend thousands upon thousands of dollars on her for ZERO appreciation in return.

She is SICK and needs serious professional help and is in denial. I have tried to get her to go get help and have tried to get her into marriage counseling. She went ONE time to marriage therapist with me and the counselor felt sorry for me at the end of that session. My wife started accusing the therapist of coming on to me. She called and blessed out a customer I had a years ago I have a lawn care business for NO reason.

She just assumes the worst and thinks she knows things that she has no idea about. That lady didnt even know I had a fiancee at the time. I hardly ever even saw that lady as she was almost never home when I did the lawn service and she would leave a check for me. You make a good point. It would be a mistake to judge the behavior of anyone going through a divorce without knowing what went on behind closed doors. So very true!!! I so agree with you. I am in a marriage for 32 years now.

I have left him 20 some years ago and I wish I never came back. Nobody knows what you are going through unless they wear the shoes you are wearing. If I could afford to leave, I would leave in a heart beat. Precisely my situation. My husband has taken advantage of me from day one. We are somewhat separated, sharing a house. It is two floors, with no connecting staircase. He never finished the work. Not the wiring. I supported us until I was forced to retire early due to bad health.

Early on I had two jobs. There was a period where I HAD to work 7 days a work in order for him to sell any of his paintings. Commute to NYC, and work on the weekends. I could not live on half of my income, which is indeed pitiful now due to early retirement. Now he is not working at all. He has not taken a single step to well any paintings in over two years. I have lost weight due to hunger.

We live in essential poverty. But as I understand it, if I divorce him, I will support him for the rest of my life.

Neither one of us can afford to buy out the other for our house, and it is not sellable as it remains unfinished and essentially unlivable my part of the house, that is. ANd he is decided he is lord and master of above and below. He dictates what I can and cannot do.

All the rules are his rules, but he will tell you I always get my way. He stopped drinking for years and became less abusive, but now he is drinking again and becoming more and more perpetually insulting. To cooking, to storage — no, we cannot have shelves until I have thrown everything away. I have no closet in which to put my shoes. I should throw them away, then we can build the closet.

My opinion about the need for cabinets in the kitchen — or anywhere there is room for them, in a house with very little wall space — is not to be listened to. I made the mistake early on of letting him control the bank account and pay bills. I can change that, and I guess I should. So he thinks all the money coming into this house — my pitiful pension and Social Security — is his to do with as he pleases, and my opinion, once again, is not needed.

Nor is it tolerated. I may not even initiate conversation about anything such as gardening, because my opinion is beneath contempt even before hearing. It is all so insane, I cannot believe it. But I cannot afford to support him and support myself. The one time we went before a judge here, he favored my husband completely. He did not believe a word I said. He said, obviously I must have made an agreement with my husband that he could stay home and I would make all the money.

That is entirely untrue. And my health failed, and he refuses to believe anything that doctors say about me. My life is a nightmare, and I would love to change it. And to make a little money by at least attempting to sell his paintings would be a big plus.

He is a decent painter and can sell them, as long as he tries to. But if there is any way we can scrape by, no matter how poor, that is all right with him.

Just do it! It will make you feel more empowered. Change your attitude and put yourself first. Join some groups, go to the library, reach out to old friends. Many libraries have free classes and events. Walk away, become as independent as possible, put your mental energy somewhere else. Over you lower your expectations, ignore him and concentrate on yourself without focusing on him doing anything or meeting your need, living with the situation will be more tolerable.

But make sure you start that slush fund and making connections with other people. Good luck! I am in a position where I am unable to see where to go, my wife is an alcoholic but does not realise, I love my girls with everything that I am, she is violent and abusive, I need help in the way of advice, please help me.

I worked my entire life to get our mortgage paid off and be debt free. Immediately after which he decides he wants out to be with his surprise girlfriend. So he gets to leave, gets to have the kids part of the time, and I am expected to take out another mortgage to pay his cheating ass for half of the house, when obviously I could never sell it and uproot my kids even further. Their lives are in shambles right now as is and losing the house they grew up in would make it unimaginably worse. So gets away with his girlfriend and hundreds of thousands of dollars in cash.

I know I should go to therapy but I keep justifying why I should wait. I will check back in after trying the steps a above and therapy. We separated, her boyfriend moved in and my 14 yr old son lives with her mostly. But I dont. You still have the privilege to act as a parent and expose your son to good moral choices. By not addressing her immoral and irresponsible behavior, you are just agreeing that her life is acceptable to you as well.

Do you love your son enough to clearly teach him how to live a better life? He is fourteen. These are formative years for him. If your life is not what you wished it would be, if you made choices you regret, then help give him a better chance and step it up.

Get out of your polygamist existence and kick her to the curb. Save yourself and your son. I will add that assumes you will lead by example with your own choices. Create a personalised ads profile. Select personalised ads. Apply market research to generate audience insights. Measure content performance.

Develop and improve products. List of Partners vendors. By Cathy Meyer. Anger is a convenient tool used by some to prolong their own sense of victimization and, to punish others for wronging them. Featured Video.

Stonewalling in Marital Relationships. Your Privacy Rights. To change or withdraw your consent choices for LiveAbout. At any time, you can update your settings through the "EU Privacy" link at the bottom of any page. These choices will be signaled globally to our partners and will not affect browsing data. When a soon-to-be ex-spouse expresses dissatisfaction regarding an aspect of the marriage or asks for something that you consider to be crossing a line during divorce proceedings, the anger can surface, clouding your judgement and adding a level of intensity that can disrupt legal proceedings.

It can get even worse for co-parenting and custody. Emotional baggage is always one wrong word away from being unleashed, and when one of the divorced co-parents is experiencing issues related to parenting styles or scheduling, it can be damaging for the children.

According to Sedacca and Sherman, parents who learn to control their anger and make better choices when emotionally charged, enjoy the privileges of co-parenting more effectively and successfully.

While control is important, it can be beneficial to let yourself feel the frustration. In getting angry, you can get motivated. According to The Huffington Post , your anger may give you the fuel to fight back In whatever way you feel wronged. It gives you the energy and focus to get back what you deserve or take back from your ex-spouse what you feel they took away.

In getting back whatever you feel that you are owed, you may find yourself letting go of the anger and the grudge. Individuals exploring a life after anger find themselves taking more responsibility for their own behavior and their own feelings and displaying a much deeper appreciation for what it means to love yourself. That can help you move on and find someone who will love that passion and intensity. If you are unable to move forward in your quest to quell your anger, there are resources that you can look to, which will help treat it.

Seeking help from a mental health professional for anger management is not something to be ashamed of after a divorce.